/anthro/ - Anthropomorphic

>>53674
Yeah, I'd experiment a lot with small changes (don't do anything drastic or it will take away more of your focus from the actual writing) since this a pretty rough format to write in.
>Most of the entries are written in the two hours I have befure work
That's fucking based bro
>original plan of one chapter a week so they're more fleshed out or something
This is a good idea, it's going to help you not burn out and spend more time thinking about what should happen (which is the whole reason we're reading it, to see what happens next)

bump

my life story (i didnt read)

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>>57248
are you actually him?

>>57256
how could i prove myself lol

>>57257
do you have a master's degree in building?

>>57258
have i been 'oxxed?

i just had scammers in my steam dms, whatd yall do?

If they can put up the larp for a week they can take his spot like like invasion of the body snatchers.

>>57281
marge im scared

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>>57262
You've been foxxed.

>>57299
why is the smol focks always so manipulative?

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>>57313
cuz they're cute enough to get away with anything

>>57299
i wish, i would slave away in a factory just to come home to that fox

why am i back on this site, i should go

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>>57321

>>57353
That's the most beautiful story I've ever read.

Literally kino

>>58312
stop making me feel bad for procrastinating >:(

>>58314
its fine you can just end the fic here we all get the idea already anyway (:

bumo

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This is shit. Touch grass nyagga

>>58363
You love it doe…

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>>58441
That guys a shartyfag btw. Still posts on furry /qa/ generals.

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>>58499
>>58441
youre not being very convincing pal

>i just brapped all over my chair

>>58511
bro thinks he's him 💀

>>58521
i am but a voice in the choir

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>>58524
in b4 "we are all Purrgem"

>>>58312
>stop making me feel bad for procrastinating >:(

Its LITERALLY FIRE

bumo.

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>>58555

>>58563
SQQN... tomorrow maybe

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>>53417
>Note: I’m experimenting with a different format for this entry. Let me know what you guys think. Also, sorry for the two-week wait… I got distracted.

The crisp autumn air greeted the pair as they walked down the forest trail next to Robin’s neighborhood. They stayed silent, the only sound being the crunching of the fallen leaves from their footsteps. The forest’s trees were now in their dull, rusted fall colors. Chud glanced at Robin. She was staring deep into the forest, as if looking for someone, or something.
Why does she look so disinterested? This walk was her idea… 
Chud stuffed his palms in his pockets. 
Is she that embarrassed to be seen around me in public…? I guess she’s trying to make this look like a regular nature walk, but there’s literally nobody else but us on this damn trail! God, why are women so fluffing difficult to understand? 
He was so deep in black-pilled thoughts that he failed to notice a loose tree branch in his path.
“Wuh—”
Chud was about to fall face-first into the dirt when Robin suddenly grabbed and pulled his arm to rebalance him.
“GEEEKKK!!! Do your glasses need cleaning, Chud?”
He was red-faced as he looked at Robin, clearly amused at his clumsiness. Her paw was still firmly grasped on his arm.
If only she moved it down a little bit more…
To Chud’s dismay, she let go as the two continued their walk.

I’m such a fluffing dweeb…
Chud tried to keep his face neutral as he berated himself.
What if I fell? My glasses would’ve broken, and I would’ve looked like such a fluffing loser… hell, I already am one!
Chud snuck another glance at Robin.
God, she’s so fluffing cute! Sure, her sweater hides her assets, but that little tuff of fur right where her collar is…
He smiled as he continued to fawn over her.
And her freaking cute face! Unlike other foxes (Latinx ones…), her snout doesn’t extend out like some greedy rootless international banker!
He felt his heart flutter a bit.
That choker necklace, I know that only whores and sluts wear that shit, but it’s different when she does it, because… it just… is… OKAY???

Without warning, Robin stopped and snapped her head at him like an owl. Chud froze.
“You were staring at me again… weren’t you?” She frowned at him as her ears twitched. He put his hands up in protest.
“N—no…”
Robin placed her paws on her hips.
“Hmmmpt… you looked a bit too happy back there…”
Chud stammered as he tried to defend himself.
“I–I wasn’t thinking anything weird! I was just appreciating the forest, like you!”
“Sure… you make it really obvious you know… you’re gonna have to learn to not do that every time we—”
Robin looked shocked, as if she had said something she shouldn’t have.
Every time we…?
“Um… GEEEKKK!!! We’re almost there, let’s keep walking!”
Chud didn’t respond. He knew what she said. So… is this really happening? This feels too good to be true!
They continued their way down the snaking path until the gazebo appeared.

As they approached, Chud noticed something moving deep in the woods from the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw nothing. I’m just imagining things… maybe because of how fluffing nervous I am right now…
His heart pounded as they stepped into the gazebo and sat down at the table. Chud could tell Robin was trying to keep it cool, but she was fidgeting with her paws again. They sat in silence for a minute before Robin spoke.
“So… how do I even start this…?” She avoided Chud’s gaze, eyes focused on her paws.
“Well… uh…”
“...?”
“Chud…”
“Yes…?”
She looked at Chud straight in the eyes before closing them and taking a deep breath. He clenched his teeth in anticipation.
“You– You-you’re not ready for me, yet…”

“Eh… what?”
Not ready? The fluff does that mean? These fluffing stupid, manipulative, vixen foids and their stupid word games—
Chud groaned as he clenched his fists. “Really, Robin? What a nice fluffing reward! You know, you could’ve just told me that before we spent 30 minutes walking—”
Robin flashed her teeth in anger. “Whoa, hey! Let me finish before you throw a tantrum! Geeze… you’re making me regret this…”
“Then why—”
“Let. Me. Speak…”
Chud let his guard down a bit, but he was still pissed, though. She put her paw on her forehead, annoyed by Chud’s outburst.
“Did you listen to what I said? You’re not ready for me yet…”
Oh, of course… do I have to pay you or something first, you stupid whore?
Chud wanted to say that to her face, but she spoke first.
“Look, I’m gonna be 100% honest with you… In any other universe, I would never even consider… I won’t say it because I already know you’re gonna get mad, but I’m sure you get the picture…”
Chud shook his head and scoffed. “What’s your point?”
“My point is… that I… FLUFF!!!” She slammed her fists on the table.
“You can’t even say it… Am I that much of a repulsive incel to you…?” He tried his very hardest to fight back tears.
“Oh, stop being so dramatic, Chud…” She rolled her eyes.
“You’re the one slamming your fists because you can’t even fathom saying—”
“Okay! Fine!” She closed her eyes and took another deep breath.
“I… maybe… kinda… sorta… enjoyed the time we had today… and back on the roof… and…”
“And…?”
“Maybe… if you became a better person… I’m not saying you’re a bad guy or anything… it’s just… you know…”
He slouched a bit. Where is she going with this? Just spit it out, pooch!
“…I think you have… potential… and I’m willing to help you…”
Chud was perplexed. So, she knows that I’m a creepy incel, but she apparently likes being around me? And she thinks I have potential? Potential for what?
“So… what I’m trying to say is that I think I can… fix you…”

“I–I don’t need fixing!”
“GEEEKKK!!! C’mon, Chud, do you remember our conversation on Haloweeen? You couldn’t even give me a good reason for being racist! I know you don’t want to go down that path…”
AHA!!! SO, THIS WAS ALL A PSYOP TO DERADICALIZE ME OR SOME SHIT! I BET HER RAT MOSSAD HANDLER IS RUBBING HIS HANDS IN CELEBRATION RIGHT NOW!
He thought back to that night with her on the roof, the sensation of him touching her— Oh fluff it! Maybe she’s right.. and besides, how could I turn down a chance to be with her?
“…Okay…”
She broke out a small smile as her tail wagged.
“Okay then!” She stood up and clasped her paws together.
“First thing on the list is for you to actually look presentable for once…”
Chud frowned. “Presentable? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“A lot… and it's more than just your clothes… like let’s not even bring up your hair…”
“I barely have any! You sound like my mom now…”
“So? You could still make it look less… derpy… GEEEKKK!!!”
She put her paw on her chin and paced around the gazebo before stopping.
“How about we go shopping at the mall tomorrow? I could pick out something cute for you, if you don’t mind paying, of course…”
Great! This pooch is gonna destroy my allowance! Oh well, it’s not a terrible first date…
“And for the record, this isn’t a date or anything… okay, Chud? Just consider it a friend helping another friend…”
…sure… whatever foid…
They were about to head home when a familiar cry rang out next to them.

“IIIIMMMMM HEEERRREE TOOO!!!”
Averi popped up behind a bush only a few meters from the gazebo. Chud was so startled he almost fell off the table bench.
WHAT THE FLUFFKKK??? WAS SHE STALKING US THIS ENTIRE TIME??? FLUFFING PSYCHO LATINX POOCH!
Robin froze in place.
“Averi…? Uh… why the fu—”
“Oh Robbie~! Chuddie~! I heard EVERYTHING!!!” She gekkered as she took a bite from a crispy chicken sandwich she was holding.
“Aaand… I think it’s only fair that I should help too!”
“Actually, I don’t think we need help from some obsessed beaner stalk—”
“Ahem.”
Robin glared at Chud. What? Why are you mad at me??? She’s the one stalking us, but nooo… I’m the one that did something wrong… fluffing foids I swear…
“See? This is what I mean? I can’t openly be with someone who drops every slur they know at a dime…”
“Sorry, but she deserves to be called that!”
Averi gasped at Chud’s outburst.
“Chuddie~! Hmmmpt! Don’t say that… I wasn’t stalking y’all… I just happened to be walking by…”
Robin shook her head at Averi.
“Averi, you don’t even live in this neighborhood…”
Averi’s mouth was stuck open; she didn’t know how to respond.
“Ah~! Well… uh… I’m a fox!!! I don’t have to explain myself… okay~? GEEEKKK!!!”
Averi finished her sandwich as she walked towards them.
“Well~… I think I could provide some expertise in dressing up Chuddie~…"
Robin raised her eyebrow.
“Averi, I think that kinda defeats the point…”
“Eh~?”
“Look… this is more of a private thing between us… You know? We can all hang out next weekend… I promise!
Averi didn’t respond at first. Chud swore he saw her face briefly flash with hate before returning to her signature grin.
“So, you guys are going on a date…”
“No! It’s not like–”
“Okey dokey~! I see how it is~! Bye Chuddie~!”
With that, she trotted off back into the forest. They watched as her bushy brown tail disappeared into the trees.

>>58833
new gem!

>>58833
more gems!

>>58833
Write more my little write slave.

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>>43720 (OP) 
With some rare free time today, I will finally read this in full and provide feedback.

>>58833

Unironically kino

>>58833
2nd for kino

>>>58563
>SQQN... tomorrow maybe
KINQ PQTRIQT

>>58863
So way I see it we got Angel Robin on one shoulder trying make make chud not a chud and Demon Averi trying to make him lean in to scare off Robin?

>>58917
Oh shit this is gonna get interesting

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About a 4 hour read with long breaks. I'm not much of a reader. These are more just my thoughts, so treat this feedback with a bit of skepticism.
The story:
The level of detail is within comfort. I can imagine the scenes well-enough without being bogged down by excessive detailing.
However, a recurring issue is following dialogue when more than 2 characters are present. This is more a limitation of writing rather than something you can fix, so best to work within limits by making most interactions 1-on-1 as much as possible. This develops both characters more than if you try to rotate between having 5 characters talk within a chapter.

>>43726, Dreams are great for exploring a character's beliefs and desires without necessarily being bound to the rules of realism. Perhaps more of these could appear in the story.

>>45147, in the previous chapter, Chud fails to load a folder of secrets on Averi's drawing tablet, apparently containing artwork that Averi says would have made Chud stop talking to her. What could it be that Chud would find repulsive? This question doesn't need a direct answer, but rather could be something that reappears in the future (if you wish) since this secrets folder has not been mentioned again.

>>47099, Averi's detection of Chud via scent makes me wonder what more anthro-specific abilities (or weaknesses) they have. The idea is to further focus on them being anthros and not just reskinned humans, which this story does a good job of already.

>>48197, Skipping the descriptions of the abandoned house exploration was for the best here. It is better to write a scene you enjoy reading, than to force one that you yourself would skip.

>>49396, Chud never gave a proper explanation for his racial beliefs, which could be something that reappears in the future perhaps? Related is exploring why Averi holds her racial beliefs or is edgy (the xwitter lore doesn't quite fit here).

>>58833, With Robin living in a relatively wealthy home, I wonder if money will be like nothing to her when they go shopping. Or, will she make Chud pay for all of his own stuff?
Also, I felt the previous format with text color made it easier to follow dialogue, but if you prefer a more formal "publisher" style, then that's fine.

"Death stare" gets repeated a lot. Variety would be nice.
Vices like alcohol make an appearance, which makes me wonder which other drugs will appear. Maybe Black-chan with weed?
As the story progresses, it does seem to focus less on the school setting. Perhaps it can reappear in the form of them joining clubs, campaigning for student government, playing sports, attending stadium events, graduating, going to college (?) or even a possible high school reunion decades after graduation.
Perhaps looking at how the characters manage to (or don't) move out of their homes.
Or, if you want to avoid a slice-of-life romance, perhaps explore Chud's attempt at politics in wider society, realistic or otherwise, and all the ways his Opposition tries to take him down.
Another reminder that they are anthro characters, and to explore the interactions between humans and anthros and how they live (slightly) different lives in society.

The characters:
Averi is far more provocative than expected. While she does not have an "official" personality, I always imagined her as more passive and cute rather than dominant, but at this point in the story, her personality can not really be changed. Her going crazy for Chud's heart presumably for no reason other than his beliefs makes me wonder, is she a lonely femcel? Her going after him because they live similar lives maybe? Averi's personal life is perhaps worth exploring to explain why she's the way she is.

Robin is understandably the dominant gamer type although seemingly softens up to Chud through the chapters. Main question is, how much freedom will her father permit to her, and how much does her mother care (who has been relatively unmentioned)? >>44020, her living in a 2 story house makes me wonder if a wealthy vs, poor power dynamic will appear in the story, assuming Chud and Averi lean towards the poor side.

Conflict and resolution is a good method for starting and ending chapters, and Chad is one such decent way for introducing conflict, although don't make him evil. Instead, make him someone whose success and unbothered demeanor provokes jealousy in Chud.

The supporting characters, specifically Black-chan and Nekotsuki, will probably be fine without heavy character development. Black-chan is perhaps best used for softening up Chud's beliefs (or making him more extreme), whilst Nekotsuki is more difficult to introduce and perhaps restricted to anti-vice or anti-glutton purposes.

Chud is best written when he is relatable whilst not being a self-insert. Chud being a flawed antihero is what makes him interesting, more because it reduces predictability in whether or not he will screw up his social interactions. This is mainly something to keep in mind and ensure that his flaws do not disappear completely, unless he somehow undergoes some extreme event that changes him entirely as a person.
Some questions worth considering: how does he reconcile his racial beliefs vs. love for fox women? How does he reconcile his political beliefs whilst Chad (who fits his description of the superior man) undermines him (without turning into an anti-White story)?
I figure this story fits the Bildungsroman category, although if Chud changes too much, then he is, well, no longer the "Chud" archetype as the internet knows him.

There is no wrong answer in how you choose to develop the story, and really, anything goes as long as you enjoy what you are making. Don't worry too much about what I think, but rather focus on what you want to see written, or maybe even drawn
Again, these are just the thoughts I've had while reading this story, and the questions are more to guide your thoughts rather than to get an immediate answer. I genuinely like this story. Whenever I have more free time in life, I will try to give back in some way.

>>58986
Thanks for the feedback! I agree with everything you wrote. I think the main issue is that I don't really plan anything out; I just write in the few hours I have before I go to work, which doesn't leave a lot of time to edit and proofread.
I also feel the need to rush through scenes since I try to keep each chapter contained in one post, which is around 1600 words or so, with the character limit. I want each chapter to include something meaningful to advance Chud's relationship with Averi or Robin. Character limit in mind, I avoided doing much, if any, worldbuilding, which I admit was a mistake. I'll try writing longer chapters and have them be split up into two posts so I can flesh out more shit.
And yes, I do think the old format was slightly better. It sucks there's no way to preview what your post looks like with all the tags applied and everything. I think I'll try a hybrid of both for the next chapter. 

>Dreams are great for exploring a character's beliefs and desires without necessarily being bound to the rules of realism. Perhaps more of these could appear in the story.
Yeah, I featured a lot more dreams in the proto version of this fic in a previous thread. I've avoided doing them this time because of the arbitrary constraint I put on myself to keep everything contained in one post.

>Death stare" gets repeated a lot. Variety would be nice.
LMAO yeah I've noticed that too. I think that'll be solved if I don't rush each chapter and I actually have a chance to read what I just wrote.

>As the story progresses, it does seem to focus less on the school setting. Perhaps it can reappear in the form of them joining clubs, campaigning for student government, playing sports, attending stadium events, graduating, going to college (?) or even a possible high school reunion decades after graduation.
As for the focus away from a school setting, that's more because I didn't have the time or space to flesh them out; this should improve in newer chapters. I'm gonna keep this story contained to Chud's Senior year. As for a sequel, I kinda sorta have an idea of what I wanna do for that...

>Another reminder that they are anthro characters, and to explore the interactions between humans and anthros and how they live (slightly) different lives in society.
I'm a nufur when it comes to anthros to be completely honest. I discovered Averi last year, and only recently have I bothered to look beyond her.

>Averi is far more provocative than expected.
Yeah, I think I made her too horny lol. Uh, I guess my cope is that she's only like this during her teenage years, but she becomes more passive in her late 20s (aka when she becomes "canon" Averi). Her personality does serve a purpose, though, since her provocations help get the ball rolling for Chud, since he would have never had the will to interact with her and Robin otherwise.

>Conflict and resolution is a good method for starting and ending chapters, and Chad is one such decent way for introducing conflict, although don't make him evil. Instead, make him someone whose success and unbothered demeanor provokes jealousy in Chud
Bro... I really wish it were possible for me to redo an earlier chapter because I'll admit, making him "evil" wasn't really my intention; it was another consequence of me rushing a chapter and trying to find a way to end it on a cliffhanger for some reason. I wanted to do the whole "Chud looks up to Chad" but I kinda already cemented that he's an asshole...

>Again, these are just the thoughts I've had while reading this story, and the questions are more to guide your thoughts rather than to get an immediate answer.
Whoops! Again, thanks for the feedback! :3

Which one of you posted this on that other website earlier today?

>>59171
Are you trying to start something?

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>>58833
I just read this
Its a clear shiny gem

When are we getting a new chapter

>>60507
In 1488 minutes
I get out earlier now that I have a new schedule but I’m gonna be busy after work today, so maybe tomorrow